Virginia Blues / Bipolar Day

So, the Virginia Blues hit this lone little hiker back towards the middle of May! It was an odd sort of day. I started out from a shelter where I had spent the previous night with a southbound flip flop hiker who shared his trail knowledge of where I was headed. The morning was a little long and wore me down as I miscalculated the distance by 2 miles. When I got to the shelter for lunch, I did a little dance around on some blue blaze trails trying to find water before returning to the trail where I had come from. After a good break and removal of my superfeet insoles, I was ready for another 15miles up a ridgeline. I was not looking forward to climbing up the ridge in the heat of the day, so the clouds came along and gave me reprieve from the sun! Then, as I approached the top of the ridge, the thunder began. I was in my own little patch of sunshine as I traversed the ridge heading towards the storm cloud. The raindrops began and I started singing various rain related songs. As I moved along, I found myself singing and dancing in the rain. My life felt grand at that moment and the rain never came down very hard on me. I passed up a free bunk house offering a shower and phone use to keep moving towards Pearisburg, VA. At the last shelter before Pearisburg, I met a new group of thru-hikers and learned they were headed to the same campsite I was planning on for the night. After chatting with them during their dinner, I set off again for the campsite. About 10minutes after leaving them, I began crying nonstop. I tried to think happy thoughts and sing again, but the only songs that came to my mind were ones that made me think of my husband. I tried not to think of "my husband," but even thinking his name made me cry hard! At that point, I was determined to get off the trail and be done with this insanity! I just wanted to be normal! So, on I plugged into Pearisburg, VA arriving in the dark to a hotel only 1/4 mile off the trail. Once securely in my room, I broke down into tears again. After collecting myself a little, I called my husband but he was running. So, I called my mommy and let it all out! Only 3days earlier, I had been telling my mother how great things were on the trail! She was the one who told me there would be days like that day! It was a great help to just talk to familiar people and hear a friendly voice.
The next day, I got done what I needed to do in town and then sat infront of my hotel room and met a few more hikers who were procrastinating from getting on the trail. There were other hikers around who were meeting family, friends, or heading back to Damascus, VA for Trail Days. As I watched those people, I got sad and would have to retreat into my room for a quick cry! After a while, I just stayed in my room occasionally looking out my door to see if anyone I knew was coming into the hotel. No luck!
Finally, it was time for me to head back out on the trail, and I was ready to bolt. I was suppose to do only 7miles to the first shelter that day, but I was going stir crazy in the hotel room the night before and ended up with a 19mile day instead! Throughout the day, I would think of my husband and again bawl like a big old baby. Was I really going to make it all the way to Maine? In Pearisburg, my husband had told me he would not pick me up from the airport nor let me in the house if I were to return at this point. I joked that I would find my way around his not letting me in, but knew in my heart I would be way too disappointed in myself for not finishing my journey. So, here I was back on the trail a mess and crossing tons of roads hoping nobody would catch me crying. That night, I was not alone and that was a good thing for my emotional rollercoaster ride. I met some section hikers who had too much food and thus helped fill my belly and raise my spirits. That evening, I joked about rearranging my schedule to fit theirs so I could be fed every night they were out. Unfortunately, one of the guy's watch alarm went off at 5am and I was really looking forward to sleeping in the next morning. So, I took off on the trail alone the next day wondering what I would discover!