Wow, I never knew how hard that last part was when you love your job & coworkers, & you’re not sure if you are returning to the job. When I headed out on the Appalachian Trail (AT), I was employed by REI (Recreational Equipment Incorporated, for those who don’t already know about REI), and I planned on returning there after my trek. With the Colorado Trail (CT), I was done with REI, but knew my REI family would always be with me. As I prepare for this journey, I am uncertain of my future. This time, I am leaving my job solely to repair and possibly rethink my desire and drive to be a nurse.
In 2013, I left my job at REI because I had done/learned everything I cared to about retail. I was beginning to miss “my crazies,” as I referred to my residents from the mental health group home. That’s when I knew it was time to pursue something new, possibly in the realm of caring for people. I have had some form of Wilderness Medicine certification off and on since 1993. My favorite has been the Wilderness First Responder (WFR) certification. As I was leaving REI, the outdoor school had just come to the Denver store, & I looked to work with them using my wilderness medicine knowledge. Unfortunately, I was also burnt out on the retail sector of my life. So, a position with the outdoor school never came to fruition. This passion for medicine/first responder along with the book, Three Cups of Tea, conversations with one of my instructors from my WFR course, and an application attempt to be an instructor for Wilderness Medical Institute being rejected, I realized nursing was the way to go.
I have now been a nurse for 4 years. My first job was working overnights in a level 1 trauma hospital on a medical/surgical floor specializing in trauma and oncology cases. As I mentioned in another post, I worked that job for a little over a year before moving to my current clinic. July of 2017, I started with the Colorado Blood Cancer Institute (CBCI) in an outpatient clinic setting where I worked with hematology/oncology patients. It didn’t take long to fall in love with the patients, coworkers, doctors, physician assistants, nurse practitioners, coordinators, administrative people, and research nurses. After a year and a half, I was helping out in the infusion center, with which we had merged, as a charge nurse recommended by my coworkers. When that started to get boring, and I was beginning to feel a little burnt out, I was approached by a coworker about joining the research team. So, in the hopes of refueling my love of nursing and the job, I signed on with the research team, and met a whole new group of wonderful people. Unfortunately, that did not help rejuvenate me in my profession. I found myself starting to become mechanical/businesslike with my patients. They deserve better than that, and thus my rational for heading out on my journey to recover and reconnect to the caring, loving nurse I know is inside me.
So, I guess that is why this journey’s departure is a little harder than the AT or CT. This time, I am certain of my relationship with my husband, but uncertain of my relationship to the profession of nursing. I spent so many years preparing for this career as a nurse, and I know there are many directions in which I can venture. At this time, I just need to step back, reconnect to my heart, mind, and soul, and hope for the answers that will provide me the best joy and be of the greatest service to the people with whom I interact. That is why it is so hard to say goodbye to my CBCI family, but who knows, I may very well return to the clinic a better nurse. So, stay tuned to stories/entries from the trail, as I work through the many ideas I have regarding what/who I want to be when/if I ever grow up!
