Final Day on Tri-County Challenge

    The feet hurt as soon as they touched the floor this morning. I hobbled to my clothes for the day and got ready. The more my feet moved, the better they felt, and the more hope I acquired for getting through the day. I was exhausted after not getting in until late, but excited for it to be my last day on the trail. 

    My husband dropped me off at the same spot he picked me up. For the last time, I was starting in the dark with headlamp ablaze. As I entered the woods, I thought about the conversation I had the night before with my father about hunting season and my potential for being shot. Luckily, it was only bow season and water fowl rifle season. I figured the bow hunters had to have precision aim, and I wasn't going to be near water fowl without being near a roadway as well. So, I felt pretty safe, but I was still in orange. 

    Again, my trail media was once again mixed between trails, boardwalks, roads, and highways. I enjoyed walking through the woods where I found lines attached to trees as part of tapping for maple syrup. It reminded me of collecting sap when I was younger to help my grandpa's sister's husband make syrup, and growing up with the homemade syrup. I had received a jar in July while staying at my mom's because we ran into the son, who continues to make small batches for friends and family. I miss homemade syrup.

    Anyway, I eventually made it to Middleville, MI, where I had made plans with my in-laws the night before to meet for lunch. I made it in before anyone else, found myself a pavilion with picnic tables, and proceeded to take off my socks and shoes before laying on the bench to rest a bit. Eventually, my family arrived, we got take out from a nearby location, and enjoyed our food under the pavilion. With everyone present, we wandered along the cement path about a mile before my husband and his dad returned to the car, while my mother-in-law (the Awesome MIL from the AT) continued on for about 6-7miles. 

    It is always fun hiking with MIL as she absorbs nature, and reminds me to take it all in. We didn't chat as much as we did on the AT, but I still enjoyed her company. It helped me make it through the middle part of the day, and keep going to the finish line. The men met up with us to whisk MIL away, but we planned on meeting up at the finish line and then meeting friends of mine at a brewery. 

    So, alone I took off to finish what 3 days prior I had taken on as a challenge. I wandered through backroads along swamps, reminding me of my childhood joy of walking through those swamps. For the last 4-5 miles, I had to force my brain not to think about the pain that was ever increasing in my feet. I had just completed 115 miles after all. The pain did cause me to look at my watch more often and made the end feel extra long. As I turned the last corner on the map before my end, I gave a little cheer. I was going to make it, and what an adventure it had been. 

    Nearing the next county, I found my husband and his parents navigating the terminus and trying to find a safe place to park the car while I completed my walk. My husband walked the last 100 steps or so, as his parents welcomed me in to the finish. I was ready to collapse, but happy to be done. What an accomplishment. 

    I got in the car after switching into my sandals, and we headed off to Thornapple Brewing Company for dinner. My friends, who used to grow hops in southern Michigan met us there. It was a great celebration of my accomplishment. 

    Once home at my in-laws' place, I pulled out my certificates and patches, and made sure to take a photo commemorating the accomplishment. My feet looked solid, but also had red blotches that made me a little concerned. They hurt, but that was purely from exhaustion after the 4 days and 120 miles. I rubbed them down and asked them to take care of me in a day or 2 as I had signed up for the 5k at Kalamazoo College's Homecoming weekend. They did carry me the distance, although not very fast as my leg muscles also had been overworked, and I forgot to ask them for extra support. 

    With this completed, I had no other plans for the trail this year. So, I packed away my stuff and readied myself for the winter months and trying to figure out what has been causing my nausea/vomiting and emotional variations, as I had not had either during the past few days nor while doing the triple crown of Michigan. Maybe anxiety has a part in both? Doing day hikes with a safe place to stay and lots of support made doing incredible things easier. This lead me to thinking maybe I need to adventure with the safety of an automobile vs camping out in the woods alone. So, I started looking at road trip adventures for 2022, especially after the trip home from Michigan where we were able to cross off 2-3 more states for my mom.  

Part of Preparing is Leaving

The itinerary is completed (although, tweaking of it is still occurring). Important people have been notified of the adventure (i.e., family, close friends, some support people). Gear has been reviewed (some testing will need to occur). Food is being mentally planned. Now, it’s time to tell my job and patients I am departing. 😬

Wow, I never knew how hard that last part was when you love your job & coworkers, & you’re not sure if you are returning to the job. When I headed out on the Appalachian Trail (AT), I was employed by REI (Recreational Equipment Incorporated, for those who don’t already know about REI), and I planned on returning there after my trek. With the Colorado Trail (CT), I was done with REI, but knew my REI family would always be with me. As I prepare for this journey, I am uncertain of my future. This time, I am leaving my job solely to repair and possibly rethink my desire and drive to be a nurse. 

In 2013, I left my job at REI because I had done/learned everything I cared to about retail. I was beginning to miss “my crazies,” as I referred to my residents from the mental health group home. That’s when I knew it was time to pursue something new, possibly in the realm of caring for people. I have had some form of Wilderness Medicine certification off and on since 1993. My favorite has been the Wilderness First Responder (WFR) certification. As I was leaving REI, the outdoor school had just come to the Denver store, & I looked to work with them using my wilderness medicine knowledge. Unfortunately, I was also burnt out on the retail sector of my life. So, a position with the outdoor school never came to fruition. This passion for medicine/first responder along with the book, Three Cups of Tea, conversations with one of my instructors from my WFR course, and an application attempt to be an instructor for Wilderness Medical Institute being rejected, I realized nursing was the way to go.

I have now been a nurse for 4 years. My first job was working overnights in a level 1 trauma hospital on a medical/surgical floor specializing in trauma and oncology cases. As I mentioned in another post, I worked that job for a little over a year before moving to my current clinic. July of 2017, I started with the Colorado Blood Cancer Institute (CBCI) in an outpatient clinic setting where I worked with hematology/oncology patients. It didn’t take long to fall in love with the patients, coworkers, doctors, physician assistants, nurse practitioners, coordinators, administrative people, and research nurses. After a year and a half, I was helping out in the infusion center, with which we had merged, as a charge nurse recommended by my coworkers. When that started to get boring, and I was beginning to feel a little burnt out, I was approached by a coworker about joining the research team. So, in the hopes of refueling my love of nursing and the job, I signed on with the research team, and met a whole new group of wonderful people. Unfortunately, that did not help rejuvenate me in my profession. I found myself starting to become mechanical/businesslike with my patients. They deserve better than that, and thus my rational for heading out on my journey to recover and reconnect to the caring, loving nurse I know is inside me. 

So, I guess that is why this journey’s departure is a little harder than the AT or CT. This time, I am certain of my relationship with my husband, but uncertain of my relationship to the profession of nursing. I spent so many years preparing for this career as a nurse, and I know there are many directions in which I can venture. At this time, I just need to step back, reconnect to my heart, mind, and soul, and hope for the answers that will provide me the best joy and be of the greatest service to the people with whom I interact. That is why it is so hard to say goodbye to my CBCI family, but who knows, I may very well return to the clinic a better nurse. So, stay tuned to stories/entries from the trail, as I work through the many ideas I have regarding what/who I want to be when/if I ever grow up!

Love & support delays

We are moving along the trail very well and meeting tons of people.  It is an amazing journey of struggle and fun all at the same time. 

When we planned this trip, we figured on 10mile days.  Who knew we are way more amazing than that!?  We are currently 2 days ahead.  So, what is one to do?  Take really short days, right?  Well, ... that hasn't worked out right either.

On 9 July, we traversed about 15miles to the base of a big climb for the next day (2500ft in 4.8miles).  The idea was to conquer the horrible climb and descent and keep the day short.  Unfortunately, we ended up conquering the whole trip by 11am.  So, we decided to go a little further.  Then, we missed the unmarked trail for the lake we were planning on sleeping at for the night.  Thus, we plugged on for a total of 12miles for the day.  This mistake put us even closer to our 14 July destination & in the dilemma of figuring out what to do...hot springs for 3 days or a day in Buena vista.  Due to catching a friend we made on our way to Twin Lakes, & his friend taking him to Buena Vista, we found our way in to town.  Those two were easily convinced to hang in town & thus we have a ride back to the trail tomorrow morning, afternoon, or whenever they finally get their drunk butts together to head for the trail.  Still, we have the problem of being early to meet our drop.  I guess we will figure it out & have fun doing so. 
These are the simple pleasures of the trail.  It is an amazing journey.  I am extremely thankful for all the love & support.  The little changes and extra days in towns has been fun and educational.  It is all part of getting to know the state of Colorado!  Thank you! 

Well on her way

I have been getting some "I'm OK" text messages from +Kasandra Robbert  throughout this past week and yesterday I finally got to talk to her on the phone. She sounds good.

 They made it to Kenosha Pass a day early, but Kasey broke a tent pole that morning so they've decided to hang out an extra day while they wait for a friend to bring her a new tent from REI. 
We did have a scare this week. The Lime Gulch fire started Tuesday night, and did so about 2-3 miles north of where they were camping. I heard about the fire on Wednesday, but thought it was in a different area. Thursday morning I decided to actually looked it up and realized it was very close. I spent the whole day looking at different maps of the trail and the fire. I learned that none of the maps were accurate enough to ease my mind. I finally got a friend to Email me their latest GPS coordinates and I got a text from Kasey so I knew they were out of the danger zone. They have since closed most of the trail that she hiked on the first 2 days. The other fires don't appear to be in their path yet. We'll pray that a new one doesn't block their way to the finish.

Mike

in the beginning

So, begins another journey! This one shorter than the last, and yet somehow so much more needed! It is funny how odd this feels as I prepare to head back out on the trail. I'm worried I am royally screwing up! My backpack feels way too heavy. I'm not sure I have enough food to get me through the days, although I have plenty for dinners the next 3 days! I'm worried about not having anywhere to camp despite having the whole wilderness. Despite my friend and I agreeing not to feel responsible for each other, I have to confess I feel a little responsible or concerned. At the same time, I'm thankful to have her with me keeping me tame in the beginning. No 16mile start day this time, and yet some how, I still feel like I am too ignorant to actually be able to do this hike. I know that will go away after a week...hopefully. It just feels so strange. Maybe 10yrs between long trails is not such a good idea! oh well, the one worry that is the same this time, is whether my husband will be okay. That worry only grew stronger after his bout of cancer. Maybe this hike will help that worry go away. I know he can take care of himself. I just worry that he will be okay! After all, we look after each other and have for almost 15yrs now! :o) Here is to peace & wellness. I hope to post as often as possible. I come off the trail to run the leadville marathon and hope to post then. This trail is not as populated as the AT and thus not as many known facilities. So, we will see what happens.
May everyone live their dreams every day! blessed be!

Wandering Heart

It is time for this wanderer to return to the woods. It is not as long as the Appalachian Trail; however, it should at least feed the need to walk amongst the energy of nature and find inner peace. Come this summer, I will find myself backpacking the entire Colorado Trail. Sometimes, it feels like it cannot come soon enough, but I know before I even have a real chance to plan it I will be out there doing the best I can with just the stuff on my back!

Now, many might think I am selfish for going out on this journey while my husband stays home and continues to fight the battle against his cancer on his own. On some level, you are correct! It is extremely selfish! At the same time, I am told I need to take care of myself in order to give my husband the best care possible during his fight. The day he was diagnosed with GIST was the day I died. Since that day, I have been basically worthless to him anyway. This trek along the Colorado Trail is part of my rejuvenation and strength building to deal with this terminal illness and hopefully chase it away all together!

Ok, so this still sounds like bull malarkey, right? Well, it is hard to keep spirits high and fight the depression that comes with learning you have a terminal illness when you yourself have been sunk by depression. In the first year and a half of his cancer treatment, I tried as hard as possible to run from it and keep my spirits up by simply avoiding. Now, I am waking up and realizing all that did was help to sink my ship in the swamp of sadness!

Many are asking why such a long trip? Can't I just go out for a week? For me, there is no strength in a week long backpacking trip. There is something to be said for spending a month in the woods alone living off my common sense skills and the stuff in my backpack. On the top of a mountain, I converse with mother nature when the opportunity presents itself. From the valleys, I send her thanks for the nutrients she provides in her rivers and streams. Mother nature nourishes me through perseverance and beauty. She challenges me to focus on myself, which is a huge challenge in my life when surrounded by so many hurting and sad people. Within my soul, I am a happy person, but around others I am consumed! How is it there can be so much hurt and pain?

So, for this reason, I go to the woods to find solace in the warms of mother nature. She opens my eyes and makes me truly look within myself and walk away more connected throughout my body. It is through this I will be able to improve my care for my husband and stand by his side during this horrible battle! Through me I shall share mother nature's love with my husband!