Re-Start

 Soooo...They have tested every angle they possibly could to see what is causing my nausea and vomiting while backpacking. According to my Physician Assistant, everything is "totally normal!" I guess it was all just mental; therefore, the best place to work out the mental stuff is out hiking...at least in my mind.

In a few days, I will re-start the trail, just not at the beginning in Vermont. Instead, I will be starting about where I would have been, if I never left the trail. My travels will still take me west to the terminus in North Dakota. A friend near where I am starting is picking me up and delivering me to the trail instead of my husband dropping me off. 

After a month of reflection on what happened, I have realized I worry a lot about my husband, and that may have caused a small part of the nausea and vomiting on my first day. The other part I learned is that I get very nauseous when exhausted. So, the travel to the trail, although I thought I was getting some good relaxation along the way, I may not have gotten the amount necessary for success. 

Another lesson I learned was how much emotion I have learned to pack away for a rainy day. Being an oncology nurse, it isn't always easy to cry or react in ways that most people might react. We oncology nurses end up having to tuck it into a corner where we will hopefully take it back out later and process. I'm not good at processing that stuff...especially when keeping myself extra busy (like working 40-50 hours a week to bank some money for this trip). So, those emotions finally had a chance to come out while at home sitting around doing nothing. 

It was amazing how much lighter I felt after releasing even a portion of those pent up emotions. The pain in my chest that I continuously related to having bruised my sternum in 2009 or the 5 broken ribs in 2002 had resolved, for the most part. I've talked with past massage therapists regarding my posture of protecting my heart chakra, and am hoping by the end of this adventure I will be able to open up again, and embrace people with greater love. Yup! That sounded hippie dippy! :-)

Anyway, despite the disappointment of not doing the entire trail, some great things have come from my being home for over a month. First, I was able to go on the 40th birthday trip to Cancun with my "tribe," 2 lovely ladies that have been my rock both at work and in my every day. This trip was being planned as I was saying adios for the trail the end of March.

This trip just happened to overlap my "wife's", a really good friend who accidentally called me her wife when talking to her co-workers about my husband, trip to Cozumel; therefore, allowing me to hangout with her one more time before I head back to the trail. This combination of 2 trips gave me a chance to figure out solo how to travel and make things work. It renewed my confidence in being able to backpack this long distance.

Then, I was able to be around for my nephew's Sweet 16 birthday. I was on the Appalachian Trail when he was born, so I was happy to be around for this milestone birthday. 🎂  Lastly, I am able to be present for my sister's middle child's graduation from high school. He was awarded a silver cord for academic honors, and has been working on becoming a fire fighter some day by taking college courses focused on getting him ready.

So, it is with a lighter heart that I prepare to head back out there and check out all that o-HI-o, Michigan (upper and lower peninsulas), Wisconsin, Minnesota, and North Dakota have in store. If time and weather allow, I may attempt to complete the Pennsylvania part of the trail before the snow flies, thus leaving only New York to complete. I'm excited, and I hope those reading this are excited as well. Cheers! And may I see some of you out there on the trail.